Life can be a bitch. !=only if you let her.


So I’m 24 now. And my life sucks somehow.

I was born in a little village in northern Germany. My life was beautiful. We had not much, but that was ok. I had no father, since he decided to live in Berlin, but that was ok somehow. I came through.

But then I got 8 years old. And the stones, which I would not see till 2010 begans to fall….

My mother met a men, he was tough but somehow funny. They gained a flat in same village, near to my grandparents as my mother has wished ever since. The fun begins right now.

The first half year was beautiful. We had a car, we had a bit more of money, I got to the gymnasium, but then they started to drink alot. A real lot. And they harassed each other and then they started to fight. Three times a week, sometimes more often, I had wished to bang my head against something to get those screams out of my head. Screams of my mother, screams of her friend. And to mention: she was pregnant then. I saw her throwing around things and he smashing something against her, breaking her fingers and saw my mother walking drunken and blue-eyed through.

To mention: I had a little brother, but he can’t  remember that today. 1 and a half year later – my second brother was born already, her friend moved out. I stopped loving my mother long before that. Stopped loving, because I was afraid of her lies, afraid of her friend, afraid of home, afraid of beeing alone with my brothers again, to keep them save. I called the police, sometimes. But they were no help at all. They had not done anything, as my mother revealed everything.

When I was 14 I decided to move out asap. I went to our youth-care-office, told them my story. They only said: „soul-damage can’t be messed, so we can’t help you“. Well nice stuff to hear when you’ve got your personal hell at home. I broke again, I never thought about cutting my life decently but that day I began. A few weeks later I decided for another way:

 

Fuck you all. I make my own way. I started to be on my own, a lone wolf. I worked hard at school, but I lost all relation to my family. I crapped my brothers out like hell, shouted at them how stupid they are and wanted everyone to leave me alone ,shut down my room. It was my personal prison, which I took freely.

When I was 16 I was able to move out from home. I had my school done and wanted to get a further degree, so I went out to a new school in a little city, 30mins with bycicle away. I did good first time. I lived together with an old man, from which I thought he could not harm me, when I found out, that he was discovering my underwear, when I’m not at home. That was really creepy.

 

To mention: I met my father a few times in my life since then, but he was no help either. Neither he brought me out of this crap, nor he seems to get attentioned to it. 

 

I missed that school after 4 years of loosing all again. I went out to Berlin when I was 19 years old. I wanted to start a new life, far away from my mother, that crappy village and all that happend – most of all that happened. I was running away. I was used to computers till now and I still am. I got to work as a web-developer, as I whished for a long time. I’m doing it also. Now.

But the most important thing I learned since now is: I can’t trust anyone. And I forgot how to trust me. ‚Cause everytime I start something new, I going to crash it anyways. My first job with brilliant people – crashed. Second Job – in same company – crashed again.

1 year freelance, some crashes in projects, not able to get something done. Oh to Mention: Lost my flat. Two times.

All my fault? Of course. Funny thing is, I know whats wrong. But I can’t determine how to solve what’s wrong. 

After freelance, had my apprenticeship at a beautiful company. Crashed.

After that: Worked as JuniorFrontend-Developer in a big company, which knows my problems. Crashed.

 

Now? I’m unnemployed, don’t know what to do, now flat, a broken CV and nothing more then my sadness that I the fuck dont know what to do.

 

I want to stand up. But I can’t trust myself that I will be able to hold the winners-line. I know somehow, that I’m going to get mind-crashed again.

2012 in review


Die WordPress.com-Statistik-Elfen fertigten einen Jahresbericht dieses Blogs für das Jahr 2012 an.

Hier ist ein Auszug:

Der neue Boeing 787 Dreamliner kann ungefähr 250 Passagiere befördern. Dieser Blog wurde 2012 über 1.100 mal besucht. Wäre es ein Dreamliner, würde es um die 4 Flüge brauchen, um so viele Personen zu befördern.

Klicke hier um den vollständigen Bericht zu sehen.

To be selfemployed


Well a month ago I started being self-employed and it’s totally great. You can choose which projects you’ll work on and how long it’ll take and at the end you see what you’ve done and you’re some kinda proud of yourself, that you finished everythin for the good of your customers and they are happy with you, that you’ve done everything they wanted.

Sometimes I had a work day about 18hours, but that didn’t matter at all, so I knew what I was doing it for. I got used to that and I decided to develop my own internet-agency, which’s called „Eberlei-Datenservice“. The domain is set but for now I got to find some designers to develop my design, so I’m not a designer so far. But I’m looking forward to all the stuff which comes with self-employment.

Also I’ve got a meeting with some lawyers, for all the stuff you need to know about AGB, offers and contracts. I’m really glad that I did this step.🙂

A genious musician needs to be shared


okay, I know this is really out of the box, but I really’ve got to share this, because I haven’t heard such a great musician for a long time. And it’s also rare today to have such a voice.

please have a look at this and his other songs, he’s great and needs your support!🙂

 

Bilder einfärben mit Image-Tint!


Wer als Webentwickler hat sich nicht schon an den Designern gestört, die gerne für Bildeinfärbungen „Multiply“ bzw. „Multiplizieren“ genutzt haben? Diese Funktion im Web umzusetzen war bisher immer ein Ärgernis, doch es gibt jetzt eine Lösung dafür!

Sogenanntes „Image tinting“ ist mit CSS3 nun möglich geworden, schauen wir uns doch mal an, wie es funktioniert:

Der Container, der das Bild enthält bekommt mit :before einen RGBA-Wert zugewiesen, welcher dann gleichzeitig auch noch die Transparenz (opacity) enthält.

 


.tint:before {
 content: "";
 display: block;
 position: absolute;
 top: 0;
 bottom: 0;
 left: 0;
 right: 0;
 background: rgba(0,255,255, 0.5);
}

Wer möchte, kann dem noch einen netten Blendeffekt mitgeben:


-moz-transition: background .3s linear;
-webkit-transition: background .3s linear;
-ms-transition: background .3s linear;
-o-transition: background .3s linear;
transition: background .3s linear;

Bisher gab es noch keine deutsche Anleitung hierzu, ich hoffe hiermit den weniger Englischsprachigen Menschen weitergeholfen zu haben.

Teilen, Kommentieren, Backlinks sind gern gesehen! =)

So far,

Eure Jenny

 

be_user

Make BE user password really secure


I found a nice and helpfull extension to Make BE user password really secure in TYPO3.

„What does it do?
This extension gives you the possibility to force secure passwords from your BE users. You can setup the password patterns like e.g. capitals, digits, etc. and a minimal length of the password. After activating the extensions, your BE users must fit the patterns and the length of the password to save a new one!
This extension works with TYPO3 4.2.7 and higher versions including TYPO3 4.3.0.
With TYPO3 4.5 and higher you can set a reminder to let the users remind of changing their password.“

Sharing is caring🙂

Exclude Tags {WP}


I want to show posts in reference of specified tags. I’ve solved this with bns-featured tag. But how can  I solve to „not display the tags“ itself(!) at the end of the post?

 

So I’ve got a post with the tag „interview“ and with bns-featured tag it’ll get posted. But at the end of my post I want somethign like this:
Tags: foto, weblog, video, whatever

but not „interview“!

Any suggestions?